The sky was so blue
The dreadful day I've come to rue
I saw my mother on the floor
She was laying by the door
She was barely hanging on
I used to think that she would never be gone
She was in so much pain
I thought I was going to go insane
I could not stand to see
My mother so much in need of me
She had always been there for us
Never ever making a fuss
As she lay there on the ground
Hand in hand I felt her pulse pound
I could not help her plea
She was so much in need of me
I was never the same after she passed away
And that's how I remember that blue blue day
good poem, blue depression still doesn't compare to red insanity. Post the bother's view! So instead of getting help, she just held her hand till she died, wonder what the police will think when they get there. Meter is a bit off, but I am not one to type.
ReplyDeleteClaire, I really like this poem! I think there's a lot of emotion in it and your descriptions are very detailed. Your poem flows very nicely, and it rhymes well. I like that the poem has a storyline, instead of just describing something using rhymes. This poem made me sad, but good job! :)
ReplyDeleteAlthough this poem made me sad, I still loved it. It was a good storyline and I can feel the emotion the narrator was going through. The first poem you wrote was funny, but this one is suspenseful and really worked at people's emotions. It leaves a lot of mystery as to what happened before the poem began which lets the readers' imaginations run wild.
ReplyDeleteSad.
ReplyDelete